counting - 9 days away

I have been here before - 9 days away from surgery. The same things are running thru my head as they were a month ago, yet it has been a very different count down. I was pretty fixated on the date. 10.12.10 and said it over and over again in my head. I looked at in on the calendar, planned things around that date - calculated to figure out when i may feel better, when i could drive again - and dye my hair. (yes, i have to wait 6-8wks - you might all figure out my hair is really dark dark brown) So, I clung to the list of pre-surgery things to do and not to do and followed it like a bible. This time - not so much. I mean, don't get my wrong, I have re-read it and I am trying to get my head in the game to be strict enough to drink those 8 glasses of water - BUT it feels different. Clearly I am not allowing myself to really honestly accept that I am having surgery in 9 days.

Tomorrow morning I have a pre-op appointment (physical/blood/etc) and I will be talking to Kimberly then. I hope to either sneak in another room and change the schedule (swapping 11.16 for 11.23) OR - i hope to get some really solid signs that Dr. Oro is indeed ready and moving forward. Being his first one back is also weighing on this uncertainty in my head. I guess stay tuned, I will let you know what tomorrow brings.