10.12.10

I woke up this morning at 5:40am - which is very rare for me. I looked out the window and it was a cold and rainy, dark morning. (unusual for us in Colorado) The perfect day for a surgery (if you ask me) I had actually pictured it this way weeks before - which was weird when i saw the forecast. I laid in bed and thought about how today was going to be the day.... it was the day i had fixated on (meditated about - as best as i can meditate) and it was going to be a very positive day that was to be followed by healing, wellness and a cure for me. *sigh.

Today instead I got to lay around the house with Mia - who was home sick with a stomach bug. We got our piano tuned and we had take out Chipotles for dinner. Our soccer practices and games were cancelled because of the rain and it was a pretty good day to stay in and stay warm.

I have to say from here on out - every ache and pain feels a little bit worse. I wish it weren't that way, but i am nervous this is all borrowed time. That every day I wait i am getting worse and the nerve damage is more severe or more permanent.

I have so many people begging me to get a second and third opinion and use this time to educate myself further on the decisions i have made. I have heard that my doctors healing does not seem to be going as fast as hoped (hoped by me maybe) and this brings more uncertainty.

I will be doing some research, sending some emails, faxes - making phone calls and also doing some things to get my head BACK in the game. I got a call this morning from a friend who suggested an Energy Healer. I know it takes a certain person to be open to something like that - but that would be ME ME .. me me me.... i want to try that! Energy Healing! YES! I have an appointment next week!