four months already

Where is the time going.  I had lost count on how many weeks it had been and so I sat down with a calendar and just like that it has been 16 weeks!  E V E R Y T H I N G is going as it should be going.  I actually seem to be forgetting and remembering things at the same time - as time passes. (if that makes any sense)

I barely remember any pain associated with my surgery.  I forget how (or if) it was painful to turn my head.  I only remember on New Years Eve- being at a party and wishing I had a lazy susan so I could just be turned from one conversation to another so I didn't have to turn my head to see or talk.  So, it must have been uncomfortable.  I don't remember all those days in bed and the hours I slept.  I remember being sick and needing a change of scenery. I do remember Christmas, but not the other 17 days of Christmas vacation.

I don't remember not driving for those 6 weeks and what I did instead (having to rely on John or friends).  Off the top of my head I didn't realize how many people brought goodies, cards and meals.  When I look thru the pile of cards that stacked up on the shelf next to my bed, some I don't remember seeing and some jog my memory of  - "oh ya - she stopped by and was in my room" or "they left those awesome cookies.." "those chocolate covered marshmallow grahm cracker things" or "she took my girls that day for a play date"

And - all of those people that took their time to cook for us, 27 families!  I have a special thank you in the works.  I feel so in debt.  I am also still in shock that there are that many moms in my neighborhood with serious-cooking skills.  Makes me feel like I am missing an important skill that I am suppose to have. (I thought cooking was optional)

The feeling of having to be fragile and careful is leaving me.  I can handle a trip to Costco solo and $192 later I can get it all back home and put away (including cat litter) without needing a break or nap.  I am just more thoughtful of how I lift of move something.

My stamina has really turned the corner in the last 2 weeks.  I have gone from resting daily (laying down before my day is over) to maybe just going to bed earlier.  I am walking more with the changing spring weather and I am ready for a little vacation where just a few weeks ago I passed on the chance to do Disneyland for a day or two.  I could have never walked the park for a day.

This week I am celebrating my 4 months with pushing myself to do physical activity everyday and have gotten back on my spin bike this week.  Also eating and sleeping better.  I have gotten into some lazy habits with my activity and eating lately.  It is so easy to indulge before a surgery and during recovery -  I need to turn that switch off.

So in summary - of what I remember - it has been a pretty good four months!  I have done more then I thought I would be doing, and I did it all sooner.  I think I had some things in my favor (in no particular order - here it goes).

1. An excellent surgeon,

2. a super supportive husband & family,

3. a "village" - with the most supportive and thoughtful friends

4. a great physical therapist who i trusted and who pushes me hard,

5. a positive attitude and much gratitude for what i have

6. the ability to quickly get off my pain killers/muscle relaxers that were making me feel so out of my skin (without addiction/etc)  My recovery was faster without them.

7. Ariel, the energy healer.  WOW, without her - i actually can't even imagine getting to the hospital in one piece.  It really helped my mental status.

When people hear for the first time that I have had this surgery- their reaction is usually to tell me how sorry they are.  I respond by telling them that I was so lucky to have had this surgery and that I am in a much better place.  It also takes me back to the days early last fall when I counted down the days (twice) and wondered how the surgery would go.  The anticipation was 10 times worse for me then the actual recovery.  Recovering was a breeze in comparison.

4 months - see how my hair is growing to the left.. it's about to get annoying.