THREE months ago today }

Has it really been 3 months?  The time has been a bit of a blur. I would say the couple weeks after surgery I do not remember well.  I will see a photo or look thru the cards that I got post surgery and not remember seeing them.   I don't remember being in a ton of pain, but I remember how much help i needed.  Walking down the stairs, taking a shower, getting something to eat,  no driving for 6 weeks.  I remember when I walked downstairs by myself for the first time and was in big trouble with John, the girls and Alice.  Friends stayed over when John traveled, came to bring me starbucks and there were dog walks too. Still a bit of a blur - but I know it all got done.  6 vicodin a day &  Christmas break was a blur.   I remember it was a mix of soaking in all the extra time with my girls, but having to over-do it to prove to them I would be OK.  (especially for Ryan)  I also remember hating that i was counting down the days until they would be back in school so I could rest again.  It was so hard to have them home and not to be myself and up for anything.   I also remember John and his deadlines and all of his work he had.  Doing triple duty at home and having to work his usual 60 hour work week. (at least)  WOW that was an ordeal.

I do remember all the love and support that we got.  And we are STILL getting.  Amazing amounts of dinners, friends having our house cleaned, my mom the laundry woman, rides from friends, playdates for my girls, a visit from my dad/family (which i actually barely remember), and I remember the first few weeks of physical therapy when I thought I would progress at a snails pace.  I had no core muscles and super limited turning radius side to side with my neck.

Everyone has worked so hard to get me better, and I think I have rose to the occasion as well.  Being able to admit that I needed help is big for me. Now that it has been three months and I have a great MRI under my belt I really am moving forward with such optomisim.   I think I am thriving in physical therapy which makes me stronger each day.  It is one of the things I enjoy most about my week.  It means I can push myself a bit more each week and now instead of wearing out by 2 or 3 or 4 I am usually up and about thru dinner.

I have to say I did pass on a quick trip to Disneyland this weekend.  I knew I couldn't walk the park and while the girls would have had a great time going for a day (since John is there for business)  I just didn't want to over do it. On top of the fact that I still have people helping out this month because John is traveling so much.  I cant accept a meal on wednesday, and get on a plane with my girls L.A. bound on friday.  That dosen't seem right.

Here are some photos of this week.  

 left: the first time i walked to school to get the ladies since my surgery.
middle: my hair growing back.  You can't see the scar the way my hair is growing (to the left)
right: here is the guy that worked just as hard as i did to make me better.
(enlarge for photos - i had to post them smaller to fit on the page)