Here I am

2:15am. Am i really expected to be able to sleep tonight? The pressure of being told to get a good nights rest is the exact reason i am sitting here typing. I had weeks to prepare for this surgery and I was doing something on my list until 12:40am. I guess it would have been like that regardless, would i have been able to get it all done? no - there would always be something else to do. The one last thing on my list that was incomplete is this post on my blog. I don't have anything particular written in my head, but I wanted to make one last post before I turn this over to John to update tomorrow and in the coming days.

When you are having brain surgery - lots of people call. I many times today was talking on my cell phone, as my home phone was ringing (or vice versa) and at one time while John had one phone and I had the other - my video chat rang as well. I feel the love. all of you. The calls, the emails, the texts, the cards, the extra time spent - it has meant the world to my family. We feel so loved and taken care of. I know there are prayers being said by people who love me, and by people who don't know me. I have good thoughts, good vibes, and well wishes.

I laid in bed from 12:45 to 2am - i believe i slept for a bit but was awoken by Tootie. of course. Her snoring, licking, snorting, smacking sound she makes. and since it is the only thing I can hear. I turned on the TV to drown her out - but no luck. I took her into the girls room and tried to transplant her happily on some fluffy blankets - no luck. She is now laying in my spot - resting on my pillow and snoring as loud as a grown man. John is resting well. I am so glad. He will probably say that he didn't sleep, and he may not have slept "well" but he is rested.

More than they will say about me. it is now 2:30 and my stomach is growling. I stopped food and water at midnight. My last snack was 1/2 and orange and some walnuts (brain food) at about 10:45. I should have eaten more. What was i thinking. I guess i was thinking I would be asleep at midnight and not have time to be hungry in the morning.

Off to kiss my babies again and move this snoring dog.

All of my love to John and to my girls and my parents and sister and family and friends. I am only glad that it is me who is having this surgery in the morning and not any of you. Tomorrow when I count back from 100 and make it to 97 the hard part for me will be over and really just beginning for my family and friends waiting to hear the good news that I am in recovery. (yippee)