halloween + research

First of all - Halloween. it was a holiday I thought I would miss. All of my calendar was clearned for Oct/Nov. and I just figured i would be in bed resting and healing. So, it feels very strange to be a part of the festivities. I think it made me a party pooper all weekend.

Okay - Friday night was spent in Rick & Kims garage carving pumpkins with the kids, eating pizza and even drinking my first beer in quite some time. Friends were anxious to hear of how the appointment went with Dr. Elliot. and after a speal here and there to a few - i kept trying to read into peoples reactions. Dr. Oro or Dr. Elliot ? Which is the best fit? It seems like for the first time I have a say in my treatment and a BIG choice to make. But wait - dammit - if that dosen't make things 20 times harder. A CHOICE! - a DECISION! - shit, that may leave me in a worse predicament. Sometimes my decision was so clear, and 10 minutes later I have convinced myself of the exact opposite. People say it is all for a reason, trust my gut feeling and stay positive that I have a the choice.

pumpkin patch & carving pumpkins

Saturday was spent on the (windy) soccer field and then messing around trying to find a last minute costume for a halloween party at my in-laws. I was feeling like a big party pooper and still had this brick sitting on my chest. This decision was looming. I intended to get home and save enough energy to hit the internet and do some research, but I was spent. I texted Cayce who had many questions about my appt. earlier that day. I felt like such a flunkie when I couldn't answer more then 1/2 of his questions - because I had forgotten to ask Dr. Elliot. What am I, an amature?

Medusa & Pinkalicious • family in costume • halloween breakfast

Sunday I woke up and declared that regardless of it being Halloween - I needed a few hours to spend THINKING, and researching. We went to halloween breakfast (who has heard of such a thing) and then came home and sat here in front of my computer. I was researching the different types of surgery that neurosurgeons do for Chiari and wasn't finding too much information until I came across the internet support groups via Yahoo and one that Cayce sent http://www.asap.org . THAT is where the info is! THAT is where the rumors are. THAT is where the scary personal stories are that land me in the corner, rocking in the fetal position. (well, not really - but WOW!)

I remember finding these internet boards 2 years ago when I was diagnosed but my time there was short lived. It is a place to find information on doctors, symptoms, surgeries and opinion. Good & Bad! But remember, I am a magnet to all the bad, scary stuff. I took some time, read a few things and then got myself a "handle" and password. I put out one simple question on three boards..............

(more to come)