Happy Tears

John and I went to see Dr. Oro (my neurosurgeon) this morning. I had an MRI this week and couldn't wait for him to tell me that he saw the improvements that I already felt. 

I first passed my basic neurologic tests (the silly things like following his finger and sticking out my tongue) and then we went into the film room. He pulled up my MRI and instantly there was improvement that even I could see. My syrinx (which is the cyst in my spinal cord) had dramatically shrunk. There is grey matter on both sides which is showing healthy flow of spinal fluid. YIPPEE!! Exactly what needed to happen! My brain is also in a better position (I will take his word for it since I am not sure what "normal" looks like)

He told me to continue my positive attitude, going to physical therapy (at least another month), and reiterated the importance of taking care of myself. 1. sleep 2. diet (reduced grain) 3. exercise  4. doing what makes me happy (which i will say is sewing & my art). I think that is great doctorly advice. He reminded me that days of playing contact sports are over and that I can not ride high speed roller coasters any more. (My SixFlags days are over before they even started) I can ride a stationary bike for now and it sounded like I could take some cues from my physical therapist when I would be ready to balance and ride a real bike.  That may mean the trails of Cherry Creek when the weather is (much) nicer.

I told him how grateful I was for him - and just as we were done with my appointment my happy, thankful tears started flowing. He gave me a hug and told me that it was his pleasure to work with me. I kept him a little longer and continued telling him that he had given me so much back, and so much hope for the future. He shook John's hand, gave me another hug and left quickly. I am positive that was not out of disrespect, but I think he may have been moved to tears as well. It was very emotional.  (maybe doctors or neurosurgeons DON't cry, but i know his soul could feel my gratitude.)

John and I left Dr. Oro's office teary eyed and as soon as I made it out the office doors I was in near hysterics.  I was crying so hard sound wasn't coming out and by the time I made it to the car I was wailing.  It was such a release of the happiest tears I have had in such a long time.  I did something that I didn't think I could do.  This was my first ever surgery -and I started with a big one.  All the anxieties that I had pent up since September 1st when I first learned I had to have surgery to now  - All of them were released.  I sat in the car and cried for 20 minutes, reminding John every few that they were purely HAPPY tears.  The BEST kind.

Now is when I have to thank ALL OF YOU who played such a big part getting me to the place I am right now - which is pretty damm good for being 8 wks out of MAJOR surgery!   I needed a specialist to do my decompression surgery, but I needed ALL of you equally as much. 

I was told two years ago that I should consider this surgery and I did not go ahead with it. The first reason was because I didn't have the cyst yet (even though I knew I eventually probably would), but I also didn't have a huge community of people willing to lend a hand.  To my friends and my mom who are here locally - You all have been the reason my recovery has been so much easier then expected. The meals, the rides, taking my girls, walking my dogs, giving me rides, lifting my spirits, the starbucks delivery, helping with girl scouts, shoveling our snow, taking out my trash/recycle, helping John, dropping by lunch - I mean the list goes on. We are lucky to be surrounded by such a supportive community and group of friends. You all are so amazing and we feel so blessed.

And to those of you who I don't get to see everyday but still played such a big part.  My Dad, Pam and Kimberly coming the weekend after my surgery to help was such a great diversion for my girls. (thank you) And to my Dad for the hours spent on the phone talking me out of a negative mind set and being the factual potomist when i wanted to be the emotional pesimist.  And while my Iowa family wished they were there sitting in the waiting room that tuesday morning I knew their minds and prayers and hearts were there.  Then all my friends from a distance - the Rivers from the other side of the world hooking me up with a cleaning lady(with the help of Cindy & Alice), facebook well wishes, prayer chains, uplifting text messages, emails that kept me company, offers to come help, fed ex packages with goodies and beautiful flowers.  I am not used to such spoiling!  BUT am SO THANKFUL.

I hope this blog can continue to bring more news of healing and getting back to life as usual around here.  I will give myself a year (if possible) but the celebrating starts now for me.  The positive attitude of healing continues.....

Dr. Oro showing us the good progress

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8 weeks

The photos of my scar are much less impressive.  Really it is just a small bald spot at the top.  The rest of the hair below is growing back.  I thought I would instead show a comparison this week so show how much my hair has grown.  Week EIGHT.

night number three - week eight

EIGHT week update -

Eight weeks ago this morning I had my decompression surgery.  Sometimes I feel like I am doing really good, and others I feel like I should be doing better or more.

I was just about to post last week that my physical therapy was very slow going.  I was on a hand bike, and then a granny bike (the one where it sits low to the ground and you pedal, and there is a fan) The one i wouldn't be caught dead on in the gym.  But last week we turned up the pace.  I was worked... wall slides, side crunches, tons of core stuff.  OWE. and Gina worned me I would be sore.  and I was.  Friday & Saturday i was super sore but by Sunday I felt better.

On Sunday, John took the girls to see the Globetrotters for Ryans birthday. It was a great snowy day to stay inside (where else would I really be anyway?)  But while I was enjoying the house to myself I over did it.  From dishes, to laundry and many trips up and down the stairs (without going over my 20ish lb limit of lifting)  And then........ the pantry.  It needed to be done because we were getting little moths.  So I pulled everything out and while doing so a stupid box of cereal fell from the top shelf.  I winced so it wouldn't hit me and instantly felt like i had done something wrong.  I hope it is nothing as serious as if feels.  It is on my left side (always my problem side) and it is SORE.   The disheartening thing is that it was only a few hours later I felt tingling in my feet. (the bad sign of Chiari that you dont want to feel)  SHIT if i didn't over do it and THIS WEEK..............

So today -  I am leaving right now to go see my PT-Gina to see if she can work on my neck and see if she thinks i strained something.  Lets hope it is something fixable!  and not something more internal.... like a spinal fluid leak or something like that.

It is also 1.11.11 and at 1:30 I check in for my MRI at 1:45.  I will leave with a disc and will try really hard not to use the MRI software i have on my computer to open it up and take a look.  I have an appointment with Dr. Oro on FRIDAY!  So he can read it and tell me how it all looks.

photos later - I rambled so now I am in a rush.

Now my break starts again

17 days of Holiday vacation.  Great time to spend with my girls but also much less time in bed healing.  It was a long break with pretty poor timing (as i figured it would be)  and on day 15 it was time for them to go back to school. The bickering and fighting started between the two and they were missing their friends.

Wednesday John got them out the door but on thursday it was my first SOLO get them ready, fed and out the door. (although, thanks John for making their lunches a head of time)  It went well - I drove and dropped them off and Mia made sure Ryan got to Kindergarten OK.  All is well.  I am resting and blogging - DAY TWO.

left: after day one back at home and they hadn't forgotten about those ridiculous suckers.
   right: day two - i got them up and out. 

Road Trip

I made a point to get the girls out of town during break and make it up to Fort Collins to go see my favorite - fancy massage therapist.  (it is a neuro-muscular massage)  So, John packed a ton of snacks, we had the DSi's charged and we were ready for the road trip.  One measly hour, but it was nice for a change of scenery.  Mia was all jealous that I was getting a massage but this one hurt.  I would tell Rebecca... OWE... and she would answer with "i know"  I will go back again when I can drive myself.    I didn't get a photo of Rebecca's new digs, but when I was sore at lunch Ryan offered to help.  

at lunch at Laluz and then enjoying the view on the way home.

7 weeks looks like this

You would think with a professional photographer husband I would have these fancy photos of my scar and my hair growing back but instead I reach for my phone and ask him to take a few for me while standing in the bathroom.  My hair is growing so fast - the botom scar is almost done.  7 weeks.  

7 weeks

Tis the season -

I take my Holiday cards seriously and spend a ton of time on them. I got about 40 out and then hit a wall.  I had to finish a few gifts I was making before Xmas and then after the holiday I spent those two days detoxing and then all of a sudden it was the new year and too late to send Holiday Cheer.  So here it is online.  Wishing your family the best in 2011 and also giving thanks for all of our blessings in 2010.

Ryan, Cheeto, John, Lisa, Tootie, Mia and Olive.