Happy New Years to all . . .

I had over done it on Thursday night and then tried my hardest to muster up all the energy I had to ring in the New Year with all of our friends.  I ended up making a big batch of Pasole' and also some puppy chow (since I had a craving)  and so I only got about an hour to lay down and rest before it was time to get up and out.  We went to Alice's house around 630 and I was fine for a bit. I was really stiff.   There were so many people there and I felt like I needed to be on a big lazy susan so I could just spin around to talk to people.  Eventually I went to sit behind the Christmas tree and rest my neck....  I got to listen to John, Henry, Scott, Alex, Molly and Tom play - it was a guitar, mandolin, piano, banjo jamm.  TOP THAT!  Also as pictured below - there were also 25 kids present and most up until midnight.  Apple Juice shots at midnight. (that is what I had - since I was partying with the vidodin - but not by choice)  We were home at about 12:40 and I was asleep by 1AM - John went back to play (guitar) until about 3.

I was much happier then that picture appears.

A SNEEZE!

I had dreaded this first sneeze, mentioned it a few times that I couldn't believe that I hadn't sneezed in all this time and then knocked on wood.  But it was bound to happen and it did. I was laying in bed and hardly awake and I sneezed...... I reached over to John to alert him..... to take notice...........

I waited.....  and waited.  I stood up.. and nothing.  If you don't have Chiari or haven't witnessed me try to stop a sneeze pre-surgery then you don't know what I am talking about but to me for the last 18 months the worst things to do were to sneeze, blow my nose, cough or cheer for my girls on the sidelines of the soccer field.  All of those things would trigger numbness in my body and head rushes.  So this sneeze was a big deal.  A sneeze that was not followed by me grabbing the wall or counter to steady myself and wait out the head rush and then waiting to see which part of my body was going to fall asleep and for how long.  I would say a sneeze would usually equal having my face go numb (parts of it)  and would last anywhere from 2 hours to a day.  It would also feel like for the milla-second I sneezed that I was being shocked.

I have to say that since I have sneezed 4 more times with similar results.  I am taking that as a very good sign that there was some success in my surgery.  I think there is spinal fluid flowing.  

accidental DETOX

TEXT HEAVY WITH NO VISUALS.... SORRY.

I got them memo - from my family, my friends and my body that I over did it for Christmas.  I give - I stayed in bed all day Sunday and we watched some movies that we got for Christmas.  I had my snuggling babies with me and John was waiting on us - so we were all good, content and pain free.  I had gone thru the entire day with no meds.  On Monday I thought I would probably be up and moving.  John had to leave early but luckily was able to set the girls up with some breakfast while I stayed in bed.  We had Eva over so after breakfast the girls had the run of the house and all those new christmas toy to play with.  And me - I was stuck in bed.  I didn't feel pain in my neck or head - i felt flu like symptoms (although no real fever to speak of)   I had thought about taking my pain pills but I needed food.  I had made it downstairs to say goodbye to Eva.  I made the girls a super lame lunch and then someone called to have Mia over.  Off she went and Ryan and I crawled back upstairs... got in bed and watched the "Fred" movie (again)  I slept on and off but I was hot and then cold and hot and cold.. shivery and shakey and miserable.   Ryan took care of me... she gave me backrubs and fetched me clemintines from the kitchen - but I was a mess.

I mainly got this big emotional grey cloud that hung over my head - I felt so bad that my girls weren't out and about on the town with friends like we usually are.  A usual winter break would be full of trips to go swimming, ice skating - movies etc.  And I wasn't able to do any of those things with them.  John had alos been busier then expected.  So here we layed.   Ryan was bored, Mia at a playdate and me still in my doom and gloom.  I was crying on and off all day with no certain triggers.  It was confusing for Ryan but I kept telling her I was OK, just sad.

John got home around 5 and Ryan bee-lined for the door to tell John "Mom has been crying all day"   Yikes.  I knew I was going to be in trouble.  John came upstairs to access.  What was wrong with me?  He first starts with - You had so many people to call to help.  But it was beyond that.  I felt SO bad, i didnt want to see anyone.  I didn't want to need anyone.  That was part of why I was so sad.  Having to rely on everyone else.   He thought that dinner out and a run to Target might do me well - so I tried to get ready but couldn't.  I got up, got my jeans on and had to come right back to bed.  Shivering.  John asked about my pain pills and I kind of happily answered that I had not taken any.  It was partly because I had no neck and head pain and partly because I didn't have enough food that I needed to take my meds.

Ding ding ding - we got it.  I was sitting there DETOXING off of Vicodin all day.  No wonder I felt TERRIBLE.  I ended up taking 2 Vicodin, 1 muscle relaxer and went to bed while John and the girls went out for dinner.   For the record, I woke up on Tuesday - took my pain meds and felt fine. Thankfully.  Now I hope to be able to get off of these crazy meds.  I didn't like that wake up call that it sent me,

CHRISTMAS day 2010

Listen to how awesome my kids are.  After a LATE night at Hooie/Papas we talked to the kids on the way home and I told them that I can't jump out of bed and rush down the stairs with them early in the morning like I usually do.  I told them that I needed to sleep in a bit and I needed some time to wake up slowly (headrushes are still there when I get up and moving too fast in the AM)  I asked them if they could wake up and play their DSIs, the iPad...   I promised Santas gifts would still be there and they would really be helping me out.  We think that Ryan went down for a quick peek, just to make sure something WAS there - (good thing they were wrapped) but they both waited for me until 10AM!  what kids can do that!  I was so proud of them.  We all went down at 10 and they got to open their Santa gifts and then some other gifts that they had from their family out of town.

Some favorite photos. . . . . 

Brain Age 1&2 DSi for Mia and ZhuZhu pet DSi game for Ryan from grandma/pa Jack.

Cheeto loved the new Cat Greenies!

CHRISTMAS Eve 2010

What a bummer - for 35 years we celebrated my grandmas birthday on the morning of Christmas Eve with breakfast with the family and then gifts just for her.  I had stayed up too late wrapping and I was still sleeping at 10pm.  I just couldn't do it.  My grandma has been gone for 8 christmas's - and I know she understands, just a tradition I hate to miss.  By mid afternoon I was feeling more rested and had gotten over missing breakfast.  I moved on to being a bit of a pout because my packages had no ribbons or bows like I love.  It didn't matter - then night continued.

Here are some of my favorite photos...

us before going to Johns parents house

attempting Christmas -

Here comes christmas and I am not ready.  I had all this time in bed to shop and to make christmas cards - but i guess instead I was sleeping and recovering, eating and ..... watching lots of tivo'd shows.

I did get shopping done (2 day free shipping from amazon saved me), and then I got the Christmas cards made, printed and about 1/2 have been sent.  need to get on that!  Since I take my cards seriously - and they were so late this year, I hope people will cut me some slack.  (They will be on time next year) 

It is the 23rd and I now have all the gifts that need wrapping.  I had made one run to Kolhs and I got an hour to shop while my girl waited in line to see Santa with John.  I really missed the shopping part of the holidays.  And picking out all the matching wrapping paper with bows and ribbon.  I made not ONE target run for wrapping paper.  (shocking) 

Here is what tonight looked like.  John played some music while i wrapped... then he put the guitar down and helped, or i would have been up until 3 am.

a (sneak peak) Holiday card -  Here is a Happy Holiday from my family to yours.

things are moving along -

I started Physical Therapy this week.  Really it was just the hour long test of finding out where I am starting.  The consensus is I am a noodle.  My neck range was actually pretty good, but my shoulder pain was still there and I guess it is mainly because of my posture (or lack of it)  So - sit up straight and I need to desperately work on my core.   Right now - I am in a noodle status.  It makes sense, I have done very little physical activity for a year or more.

She gave me the OK to drive to the grocery store (4 blocks away)  and we set a goal to be driving shortly.  I will be going 3 days a week for an hour to start and then 3 day for 30 minutes... and so on.  And she really does think it will be a 6-8 week process.  Whoa.

 ***************

Alright - now on to the nitty!  I made my 2 month MRI appointment.  If i had no control over my surgery date (round two)  I was going for the ULTIMATE MRI appt.  01.11.11 that is a very important day for a very beautiful clean scan on my spinal cord.  I think the elevens will help. (its our family lucky number)  and then I see Dr. Oro on the 14th. (crossing fingers he dosen't have to reschedule it. since I am so anxious to have him read my MRI)

5 week update

Here it is Tuesday again - five weeks have passed.   and 4 days into holiday break and it has caught up with me.  I am wiped out.  My family thinks something is wrong.  All of them on different occasions have asked why i am so tired or why i feel lousy.  I had to remind them that when they leave for school or for work I go back upstairs, get in to bed and I don't usually get out of bed until I head a car in my driveway at 4pm with the girls home from school. (oK, sometimes in the 2oclock hour i remember to go make myself a quick lunch)  BUT, if I don't have a doctors appointment - or someone to drive me to a store quick for urgent girl scout stuff, or xmas party supplies at school - i am HOME. and one with my bed.

This may turn in to the laziest break on record.  Waking up around 9.  Frozen waffles in bed - my girls have even lounged around enough to watch Price is Right (something i never watch) - but they think is pretty fasinating.  (they know it from the app on my phone - not as a TV show)

So - a week of lounging has brought a hefty list of things to do.  Last minute things to buy, trip to go see SANTA, a few things to make, working on christmas cards and WRAPPING!   Better get on all of that!

And when I am awake. . .

I have a long long list of things to do.  Do you want to see just a small part of my to do's?   In no particular order.

1. girl scout outing (email, reservations, call nursing home.
2. Christmas shopping
3. Update my blogs (all 3 of them)
4. Order a new planner for the new year
5. figure out what is wrong with my big computer - can my photos be saved?
6. design, print and send out christmas cards
7. send sewing directions to tiffany and to jacki
8. start sewing - finish the projects i had started
9. figure out Ryans birthday party - invites?
10. put (3,500 photos) in albums (find more albums)
11. print pictures to go in the frames
12. find a piano teacher for the girls
13. get Olive prescriptions filled
14. do the mending on my sewing table & Mias girl scout sash
15. school paperwork that has to go back to the office

at least i have company.

And I spared you from 15 other things I have to do.

But, instead I find myself sitting here.  dozing and getting sucked into these new facebook games. OYE.

zuma something or rather that i dont understand, family feud and price and right.

I feel guilty admitting that - now I need to go write Thank You cards!!

ONE MONTH today }

One month and I think I am doing extremely well!  I am doing more then I ever imagined I would be doing but yet still spending PLENTY of time relaxing.  I belief that it is the constant help and encouragement from all of my friends and family.  We have so much support and so many people rooting for my recovery.  I also stay positive, even when I am bored out of my mind or pouting that I can't drive.  I have to put it all back in perspective of just how fortunate I am.

I had an appointment with Kimberly (Dr. Oros) nurse today to go over the last month. I thought John would go with me but he has an insanely busy week.  I figured it was not an appointment that I would be thrown any curve ball or given any bad news so I told him to stay and work.  I had planned on doing a bit of shopping with Cindy so instead she took me to my appointment and I was glad that my mom wanted to join us also.  We went to lunch together and then headed to the appointment.

there we were  - mother in law on the left, mom to my right.  i feel at home in the waiting room with a lot less anxiety.

The appointment went well.  We went over a two page list of symptoms before and after surgery.  Kimberly asked which symptoms have gotten better and wondered if any were worse.  Some were hard to answer because I am on muscle relaxers so it is hard for me to tell if my fatigue has gotten better.  I am tired, yes.  I also got to ask a lot of questions,  I was very pleased to hear that all of my numbing symptoms (from my face to my hand and feet) are gone and most likely not being masked by any of my pain pills.  That is a victory.  The rest of the tests are like a sobriety test including standing like a flamingo so that the moms could laugh at me.   

I was cleared to go to physical therapy (got the orders)  and I can now lift 15lbs.  She said that physical therapy will be able to tell me when I can drive.  Of course I went right home and made an appointment for Friday!  

Here we all are.  Kimberly could do without me taking pictures.  But I try to have some visuals for my blog.

If I could stay awake . . .

I have things to post about but I rarely have the energy to stay awake long enough to finish a post. I start many, i finish few (in the same sitting)  Photo by John on any given night.

ZZzzz = healing

It has been 3 weeks and a day since my surgery. I have reached the peak of exhaustion. It is either that i am in super healing mode, or I did too much on tuesday.  I seem to do something (get out of the house or start a project) and then pay for it that night or the next morning.

I have read so many Chiari blogs where people post after weeks saying that they had things to say, but couldn't stay awake - literally couldn't keep their eyes open to make a post on their blog.  And here I am.  I didn't think it was possible for  me to sleep this much.  Just last night i passed out at 9pm, slept until 8am when John told me to go ahead and sleep while he got the girls to school.  I went downstairs and ate a frozen waffle and two clementines and ended up right back in bed.  I slept from 9am to 1pm - came down to eat lunch with john and then back up stairs to rest some more.

I probably would have gone back to sleep but i had an appointment with Arial for another energy healing.  I just wanted to make sure that all was in check.  I actually was wondering if the exhaustion was something she could work out - but she reiterated that when you sleep, your body is healing.   She said that my energy looked good.  My crown chakra was out of whack and so (i hope) she fixed it.  I had very little grey in me. She said that everything looked really good and my energy did not look like someone who had just had a major surgery.  She was very positive and felt strongly that i was healing well and that my surgery was a success. We talked about how I would know more in January when I get my MRI and then see Dr. Oro on JAN. 14th.  She said she already saw how good it looked and to not bring negative nervous energy when the date grows closer.

So, consider me healing and sleeping.

looking out of Arial's window - room full of healing.
(think i am a nutt?)  oh well.

three week scar

Soon there will be nothing to see, my hair is growing SO FAST.  

a BIG tuesday

big tuesday take one

First - this marks three weeks.  Three weeks after my surgery and here I am.  I have good hours and bad hours and then good days and bad days.  But I sure am doing better then I ever imagined I would be doing.  People have told me that the recovery is slow and that if I was able to make it to my end of the driveway and back each day - i would be doing good.  Then reminded me that if I got ahead of myself and walked around the block, the next day I would pay for it.  I do understand that concept.  It happens.

While each person in my family has been dealing with my surgery and my recovery differently - right now it is Ryan that needs a little time and attention.  For about a month Ryan has been acting out in the morning and not wanting to get ready for school and go to school.  This is my 5 year old that would wake up with the alarm - jump to the floor, get dressed, brush her teeth, ready for the day and come to wake me up since i had pushed snooze.  So,  quite a drastic difference that started just a week or two before my surgery. (when we kind of started talking about the count down of what was going to happen around here)

So, with the help of John, some of my friends (that have gentle ways with her) and then Mrs. King, her teacher we thought that maybe I should come in to kindergarten so that I could show Ryan that I was OK.   I took some extra time on Monday to save up some energy and then woke up Tuesday and went in to the kindergarten classroom.  I did no helping Mrs. King- but I was able to sit with Ryan on the carpet and hold hands for a couple hours and be there with her.  It was so nice to be out and about and at school with the kids.  I think Ryan was REALLY excited to have me there.  What a great morning.

look at Ryan there on the blue line in the back - she was so happy

big tuesday take two

The cookie exchange was the same day so I got home at 11ish and knew i had to rest so I would be able to go back up to school for festivities.  I was excited to see people I hadn't seen in weeks (and I love cookies)   We had made cookies the night before to bring (and I had help from the entire family)  So there I was... hours later spotted in line stocking up on goodies.  While friends were telling me I should be home in bed.  (mmwwaahhh)  I am in bed now... with my cookies.

cooooooookies.

Being WELL fed

Alice and Kathryn set up a site for us online called Lotsahelping hands.  http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/  

It is a way that friends and family can come together and help out (bring meals, offering rides/etc)  I am so fortunate to have such a support group of family, friends and neighbors willing to help.  We have three meals a week being cooked and brought to us thru January.  (I am getting spoiled)   We eat either in the dining room (there is more space and it is easier to get to and clean up) OR we eat on our TV trays on special occasions like Sunday nights durning Amazing Race.  This was left over night.  Ryan had chicken and rice soup, Mia nachos and me -Tortilla bake (i didn't want to share the last square)

i love how the wood paneling and the TV trays make this look so authentic 1977 to me.
(maybe this is more late 60s - but my first meals on tv trays here late 70's)

went to the movies in my PJ's

we actually saw Tangled (which is the cutest Disney movie in a long time)   John thought maybe I wasn't up for it, but i told him as long as I could wear my PJs and relax in the comfy chair (and eat LOTS of buttered popcorn, i was fine)

just from the Hamster commercial in the previews.

showering solo - 16 days out.

For documentation sake I just wanted to post that I am now able to shower solo.  I had been using a shower chair in the girls bathroom with a hand sprayer and help from John and and then Ryan.  Sixteen days after surgery and I am showering in the big shower with the shower chair for backup (which i haven't had to use)  Of course - no photo needed to back up this post (as I usually do)

sleep texting

John has been out of town for the week and I have been leaning on my friends this week to help me out. My mom had stayed with me Wednesday and then left around 130.  It was time for me to rest before the girls got home and by the time the girls got home I was still tired.  I got the girls a snack and headed back upstairs to relax with the girls.  The girls were watching the Rudolph special I had recorded from the other night and I dozed off again.  It was around dinner time last night and Alice texted me.  I remember hearing the text... and i remember it being difficult for me to text back.  i was THAT tired.  After realizing it was dark out and that John would be home from the airport anytime I did get up and slowly wander downstairs.  Mia helped me bring in our dinner (chicken soup from the Adamsons) and we got it on the stove to heat it up.  Just then Alice came in.  After reading my incoherent texts I think she thought that either over-dosed in some valuim or was clearly just not in charge of dinner.  Alice came to the rescue again.  She made some rice, she served us up and washed down all my (kitchen) surfaces. Then went back to her house to fix her family dinner.  She really has been doing double duty. 

live from Cabo

John had work to do this week - a trip to Cabo to shoot for 3 days.  While he was gone I had so many people help me out.  On Monday, Molly came to stay and help.  On Tuesday, Alice came to stay and help and on Wednesday my mom was there to help.  I was really doing pretty OK, the help was more for the girls. Getting them up and out in the morning and then fed, homework and to bed at night.  While John was gone we got to do a few video chats.... man, I could relax for a bit by the ocean.  oh that John, he is lucky.